Saturday, August 9, 2008

Sex and Squeamishness

This blog is not about sex. It's a blog about social change and transformation; in a real way, it's about human life and about making life better for everyone. But human life includes sex and part of the work of human liberation includes sexual liberation.

Some of the most interesting new terms around alternatives are from sexuality and gender, and I regularly include them in my "Word or phrase of the day". I hope I haven't offended anyone, but I want you to know that these things exist. I will not put profanity or obscenity on this blog, there won't be any graphic or clinical descriptions, but I do intend to discuss alternative lifestyles, some of which are focused around gender and sexuality. (I realize that I've already discussed the bonobos, who are an alternative sexuality unto themselves, and they aren't even human!) If you can't deal with the fact that there are people who have unusual views on sexual, etc, matters, this isn't a blog you should be reading. On the other hand, if you see the term GLBT and think, 'Shouldn't there be a few more initials?', you are probably reading the right blog. Not that this will be a constant focus of this blog; just that it's part of the mix.

Someone read my friend Laura's blog and didn't like the language she used. Now, unfortunately, there is a big 'Content Warning' that you have to go through before you can get to her blog. I like to think that because I am careful about the language here and don't have any sexual descriptions or crude language in these posts, that kind of thing won't happen to me. I like to think that there isn't any 'objectionable' material here. But I guess that depends on your squeamishness around these matters.

While I'm talking about sexuality, I'll give a little disclosure. I am bisexual, which means I can be involved with women as well as men. Probably more accurately, I'm pansexual, open to relationships with people of many genders. (But I am cisgendered--that is, I am not transgendered myself.) I'm also polyamorous, which means I can be involved with more than one person at a time. And I think of myself as queer, because I don't fit into a heterosexual (not to mention monogamous) world. It's probably not necessary, but I'll say it anyway: I don't think there is anything wrong with being heterosexual, monogamous, cisgendered, vanilla, etc, anymore than there is anything wrong with being white, male, rich, middle-class, able-bodied, young, middle-aged, and so forth. If we want to make a world that works for everyone, we want to make a world that accepts everyone. I'm not saying you should be any particular type of alternative sexuality, just that these sexualities exist, and there are good people of every sexuality and gender. And if you can't deal with that, you are looking at the wrong blog.



Quote of the day: "As long as sex is dealt with in the current confusion of ignorance and sophistication, denial and indulgence, suppression and stimulation, punishment and exploitation, secrecy and display, it will be associated with a duplicity and indecency that lead neither to intellectual honesty nor human dignity." - Alfred Kinsey
Word (or phrase) of the day: Boi
Hero(es) of the day: Vandana Shiva

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

You have done something, or evolved into a human potential that is very beautiful and hopeful. You have moved past jealousy. Wow. Congratulations. Jealousy, rejection, sexual repression and fear based human thinking is part of what is holding most of the world in the dark ages. Yea, the paradigm shift is happening. Thank you for expressing yourself.

You are a multi-flex spirit. And you share your love energy. Which is what life should be all about, and it definitely raises consciousness... how fun!!!

MoonRaven said...

Thank you to both of you for the nice comments.

Queer United, as I've commented on the blog, is amazing, both in the amount of useful stuff and in its commitment to the entire spectrum of queer sexuality. I use their 'Word of the Gay' often to define some of what I put in my 'Word (or phrase) of the day'.

Anonymous, you are only too kind. I hardly feel very evolved. I actually have moved past jealousy, but there are so many other stumbling blocks in front of us. Anyway, I am pleased that you feel I have raised some consciousness. Welcome to my blog.

Renee said...

Bisexual, pansexual, cisgendered, transgendered...

While I do like the language and really love the simple fact that people are talking about this stuff at all...

I also resent being expected, (by society in general:), to choose and express a label or category for myself.

How and why I like/love people has nothing to do w/ gender and I do not fit between anyones' carefully drawn lines of us and them...

Awesome post.

MoonRaven said...

Thanks for the comment, undacova mutha! (Love the name, by the way.)

I've had bunches of conversations about labels. I kinda like them b/c they tell you a bit about the person but I know others that hate them. (And then there's the term 'queer' which is deliberately ambiguous--a label for those who hate labels.) I certainly agree that labels shouldn't define a person--we are a lot more than our labels. And if you don't want a label, don't take it on. We should be able to choose our labels. (Note that being online means I can be clear about some labels that I might not want to talk about in other circumstances and leave ambiguous others that I couldn't avoid in person...)

I like your point about not fitting within anyone's lines--in the end, there is no them, it's only us...